Passing thought a traffic light the other day got me to thinking. What if there were no amber lights. The answer instantly returned-serious accidents and death daily. The creation of the amber light between the green and red light is as ingenious innovation that saves lives.
The amber light has implications for anger management. The amber light is synonymous with our ability to listen to and regulate our emotions. So many times we can go from green to red (road rage, desk rage, verbal abuse, workplace aggression etc.) with no thought of the consequences-we leave in the wake a trail of destroyed relationships, lives and property.
Therefore I must ask--where is amber? With the increase in anger in many societies, where is that internal regulations that warns us that it is time to stop and take stock before we explode in rage? Being more emotionally intelligent and specifically developing emotional literacy will help to bring amber back. So many relationships can be saved if we bring amber back. It is important to learn the skills to become aware, specify and name our emotions. These skills make us better able to respond to the world round us in a manner that takes into account our own emotions and the emotions of others. George Anderson's anger management model hits at the core of this idea. I encourage anyone struggling with not only anger by the inability to respond appropriately to others in a work, home or community situation to visit www.anger-management-resources.org to find an Anderson and Anderson provider in your area.
Anger management is not only about managing anger—it is about improving relationships, reducing stress, communication your needs and improving the quality of your life. Making changes in these areas can transform our homes and create positives in our relationships hat we did not conceive were possible. My hope is that we all can find amber.
Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF
President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers
