Definition Of Forgiveness

1. Anger, hurt or resentment.

This seems to be the 'default' response. We've often seen others respond this way to acts of violence, betrayal or dishonesty.

It doesn't take much thought, requires no sacrifice and is generally acceptable to others as a natural reaction.

Outcomes of anger, hurt and resentment

• Bitterness and resentment continue to build, incident by incident, they can consume us.



• We carry our hurt into every conversation, relationship and thought.



• It tarnishes the way we see others and ourselves.



• Damages our inner being.



• We are robbed of our willingness to trust and experience our lives fully.
  



• It blocks our ability to forgive.

A justifiable response

It may seem ordinary for people to be angry and want revenge when they have been assaulted, a family member murdered, or some other violence has shattered their lives.

I believe that anger is often justified, reasonable and expected in these and other,less devastating situations.

2. A second option: forgiveness.

What is forgiveness??

There are many things that have been said about forgiveness.

• "Forgiveness is setting a prisoner free, and discovering that the prisoner is myself."



• Forgiveness is giving up the right to hurt you for hurting me."



• "Forgiveness is acknowledging that the offender did the best he could with his resources at the time."



• "Forgiveness is letting go of the emotional connection to an event."

What forgiveness is NOT:

• Forgiveness is not excusing or condoning the offending behavior.



• Forgiveness is not removal of the natural and logical consequences for the behavior.



• Forgiveness does not mean the offender has the right to resume pre-offense rights and privileges in your relationship.



• Forgiveness does not mean you need to invite the offender back into your life.
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Outcomes of forgiveness

• Freedom to move on.



• Freedom to trust others.



• Freedom from the influence of bitterness, anger and judgment.



• Freedom to love, give, and enjoy life.



• Freedom to reconcile a damaged relationship.

How will you choose?

• Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving, to you and to the offender.



• Forgiveness assures clearance of any residual judgment or criticism you may have held.



• Forgiveness need not be accepted by another to be powerful



• Whether or not a relationship is reconciled will depend on the circumstances of the situation.



• Forgiveness begins healing, and models healing behavior



• Inviting the other person back into your life is an option



• Safety is a consideration.



• Many factors will determine whether this approach is reasonable. Often it depends on the accountability and remorse expressed by the offender



• Nobody loses with forgiveness, the offender is free to choose accountability over guilt.

Forgiveness implemented is the key to everyday freedom. It costs nothing and the rewards are limitless. The thoughts on forgiveness presented here are offered to help you simplify your life.

Anger, resentment and bitterness drain us of emotional energy. Forgiveness is energizing and simplifies life. It provides you with the means to go forward in the presence of adversity, and gain the best possible quality of life. I encourage you to try it!